Le Patio

Some of the worst service I've ever experienced. My husband and I stumbled upon Le Patio on 10 September 2010 and felt lucky to get a table on the pretty patio. What followed, however, was one disappointment after another.

Although our order was taken relatively quickly, we then waited an hour and a half for two overpriced pastas (16 euros for linguine alle vongole, which the waiter patronisingly pointed out was 'with clams' when I ordered it). Not only that, but we were completely ignored for that entire time, despite finishing a glass of wine and a bottle of water, both of which stood there empty for over an hour. Even when we smoked a cigar, we were not even offered an ashtray, despite the table next to us having their ashtray regularly changed.

In fact, the table next to ours got such astonishingly good service, it only highlighted the extent to which we were being neglected. The four diners at that table obviously knew the waiter, as he poured himself a glass of their wine and raised a glass with them, and then constantly came back to see if they were okay. We also watched as they were offered complimentary drinks after their desserts, while we were still waiting for our pastas.

Bizarrely, the outside light seemed to be on motion sensors, so that we were constantly being plummeted into total darkness, only for the light to come on again about ten seconds later as the waiters kept coming and going.

When we eventually asked where our food was, we were hastily given some bread and salami and promised the food would be 'two minutes'. The food did come relatively soon after that, but by then it was after 10pm.

When we finished our meal and asked for the bill, we were offered tiramisu, which we declined as neither my husband nor I likes tiramisu. We were offered no alternative or even coffee, and were never given a dessert menu to look at the other options.

The bill then took so long to arrive, we eventually gave up and went and paid at the bar counter.

Best to avoid Le Patio unless you're a French celebrity, in which case you might get more attention from the snooty waiters.